


Nothing More, Nothing Less

by theguybelowmesucks



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt, Foiled Confessions, Friendship/Love, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, really almost every single tag related to a failed confession and every single sad bit about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 03:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theguybelowmesucks/pseuds/theguybelowmesucks
Summary: Riku doesn't understand his feelings. He loves Sora, even as his best friend, but there was something else there that he couldn't describe. Sora knows what to make of his own feelings, but when he confesses, he reconsiders.Love was a thin tightrope for these two, but a tight gust of wind full of second guesses and miscommunication pushes them off and they barely hang on.





	Nothing More, Nothing Less

 Feelings were difficult for Riku to portray. It was hard for him to tell someone he was bored or he was upset about something because he didn’t want to interrupt their fun or ruin the moment. Much to his dismay, he would put himself through situations he preferred to stay away from just to appease others. This was something he did for years, something he was used to doing.

 

One of the hardest things for him to say was, simple as it sounds, “I love you”. Three words, but three words that have several meanings to it. I love you as a friend. I love you as family. I love you as my significant other.

 

Riku had a hard time explaining how he felt to others, only because he sheltered himself. Growing up with Sora in his early childhood brought up several feelings, some of which he could not understand. Sora was his best friend, of course, but there was another feeling there that he couldn’t quite put a finger on. It was something that made him swell when he would think about Sora in general.

 

Yes, he loved his best friend. So doesn’t anyone else. So why was it hard for him to wrap his head around such a simple concept? Why did his body tingle when he first met up with Sora in the morning? Why did his breath hitch in his throat every time he saw Sora stretch? Why did his hands get clammy when he heard Sora speak?

 

Sora was his best friend.

 

Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Although that seemed a little harsh to think, Riku had to put his foot down. They were best friends since their early childhood. Sure, he wanted to protect Sora. But who else wouldn’t want to protect their best friend?

 

Sora obviously loved Kairi, right? That’s how it worked, right? Even though Riku was there first? Even though Kairi never used to be in the picture? Riku couldn’t help but feel some sort of resentment towards the innocent girl. She did nothing wrong, but Riku felt robbed. He didn’t hate Kairi, and hate was a strong word, but he did feel upset by her presence.

 

But wait, wasn’t Kairi his best friend too? He shouldn’t be feeling this way, because he also wants to protect her. He cared for her as much as he cared for Sora.

 

He thought, anyway.

 

Emotions made no sense to Riku. Maybe he was the one in the wrong. Maybe it was because of his failed sense of feelings that made him so messed up.

 

So, when Sora said that he loved Riku one day, it left him feeling confused. Hurt, maybe. But happy? His heart throbbed with joy, but he wanted to cry, and his throat felt closed off, and his fist would clench but was it out of happiness or sadness? He laughed, and then he frowned. Sora probably thought he was crazy.

 

“Riku?”

 

His voice, that beautiful voice. It was hurt. He loved Sora, and Sora loved him. But which was it, out of friendship or love?

 

Riku couldn’t say anything. It was a double-edged sword that threatened to pierce his weak heart. He would be the one hurt, or Sora would be the one hurt. It all depended on what way he understood it. Dare he ask? Or just go along with it and say, “I love you, too” without further questioning Sora’s intent?

 

Come to think of it, he never did hear Sora say that to Kairi once since her arrival on the island. It very well could be that they kept their relationship hidden from Riku, but why would they do that? They hung out together nearly all hours of the day, so where was the love in that if they never showed it? Sora would have told Riku—

 

“Hey, Riku?”

 

\--if they were together. Sora told Riku everything. Maybe there was some hope in that. Riku felt somewhat less insecure about their relationship. Maybe he would reply and see how Sora took it after that.

 

He saw a hand come up in the corner of his vision. “Are you okay?” Riku realized that a faint voice had been calling him this entire time.

 

Riku gasped and Sora came back into focus. How long was he alone with his thoughts? “Y-yeah?” He sputtered as he noticed Sora’s hand frozen by his shoulder.

 

Sora giggled as he put down his hand. “Are you okay? I was trying to talk to you for, like, five minutes and you didn’t say anything.”

 

Riku knew what he said. He needed to say something. He nervously chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

 

“Oh, you heard me,” Sora rolled his eyes and smiled. “I said, ‘I love you’, Riku!”

 

There were no romantic intentions behind that innocent smile. There was no way.

 

Hesitantly, he replied with a subtly sullen, “…I love you too, Sora.”

 

And so there were no romantic intentions behind that response.

 

* * *

 

 

Sora knew he loved Riku. There was no doubt about it. Ever since Riku promised he would protect him when they were children, he couldn’t help but feel some sort of love for him. As the years went on, that attraction only got stronger, and he could confidently say that he romantically loved his best friend.

 

He just wasn’t sure if Riku felt the same way. He always seemed distant and he often never spoke about how he felt. He let others do the talking for him, but Sora never brought it up because he didn’t want to upset Riku. Nobody brought it up, but maybe they never noticed.

 

Sora attempted to ask Kairi multiple times if something seemed off about Riku, but she often responded with a, “No…? He seems like his usual self today”. So Sora would leave it to the idea of his imagination running wild.

 

But days like today were one of those where Sora knew something was wrong with Riku. There were times where Riku looked like he wanted to say something, but he would just put on such a fake smile.

 

Sora knew that, as soon as Kairi moved to Destiny Islands, Riku’s attitude changed. He couldn’t figure out why. He cursed himself because he knew he should have asked, but didn’t out of irrational fear. Why should he be afraid of asking his best friend what was wrong?

 

Sora noticed the sad, longing glance whenever he would talk to Kairi. Sora noticed the look of frustration whenever Kairi butted in on their conversation. It was blatantly obvious, but Sora lacked the courage to speak up about it in case he was wrong on his end. Also, partly because they never got a chance to talk about it because Sora would forget to ask in the moment, or because Kairi was always with them.

 

“I love you,” he told Riku with a big smile. Those three words were exactly what he meant, he loved Riku. He wanted to take care of him, be with him forever, go out on fun dates and be happy together as a couple. While he was coming to terms with his feelings (after being told that it was ‘weird’ to love another man, in which Sora decided he would never associate with that idiot ever again), he realized more and more just how much he loved Riku and how being around him always made him happy.

 

He had hoped Riku felt the same way.

 

When he saw Riku silently reply with a blank stare, save for some random facial twitches now and then, it worried Sora. He knew messed up. He ruined their close friendship. He would have to laugh it off and pretend that meant something different entirely, otherwise there would be some sort of weird unresolved strain between them that would hinder their relationship.

 

Sora felt a sense of urgency, as if he wanted Riku to hurry up and say what he was going to say. He wanted this situation to end, and he hated it. Why did he get so brave? Why did he do that? His heart sunk. How could he be so inconsiderate of Riku’s feelings and their close-knit friendship? How could he compromise it like this? The same worries repeated over and over in his head like a broken record.

 

“Riku?” He tried to get his attention, but to no avail. Sora had waved his hand in front of Riku’s eyes, but his pupils didn’t follow. He was totally lost. Sora had a feeling that Riku didn’t know how to respond. Maybe he was having the same mental fight that he was having? Impossible.

 

Riku probably thought Sora was gross for loving him, another man, his best friend, and was trying to figure out what to say to make it hurt less.

 

Riku only saw them as friends, obviously. Why hadn’t he noticed it sooner? Is that why he always distanced himself? Is that why he always looked so upset, because he saw Sora hanging out with Kairi often and he was jealous because Kairi just nabbed him away like that, in the blink of an eye?

 

“Hey, Riku?” Sora asked, trying to guide him out of his daze. What should he do? He wasn’t responding to anything. Sora didn’t know how to handle this situation, but he couldn’t just leave Riku here like this. That would be too cruel.

 

“Are you okay?” Sora went to grab Riku’s shoulder but he froze when he saw Riku gasp for air, as if he wasn’t breathing for a solid two minutes.

 

“Y-yeah?” Riku had finally responded.

 

Sora had to act normal. He went numb, erased his thoughts, and he giggled as an attempt to regain his composure.

 

“Oh, you heard me,” He rolled his eyes in typical Sora fashion. He added a smile to make it seem believable. “I said, ‘I love you’, Riku!” He knew Riku had heard what he said, but he played it cool. Hopefully.

 

But, that was it. He didn’t explain himself any further. He left it at that and hoped Riku would either figure it out on his own, or drop it and let them continue their friendship the way that it was without this incident holding them back.

 

“…I love you too, Sora.”

 

No enthusiasm. An empty response. Sora held that fake smile. Of course, Riku didn’t feel that way. It was wrong of him to assume so in the first place.

 

Sora and Riku were best friends.

 

Nothing more, nothing less.


End file.
